Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"Study without thought is vain; thought without study is dangerous." -Confucious

Since pretty much no one reads this blog, I feel that I am entitled to say whatever I want right now.  And you honestly have no idea how many ideas are swirling around in my head... a bit like if you rolled one-thousand quarters down an upside-down traffic cone that was the size of the Empire State Building.  Those would be my thoughts.  In my head.

And just like the quarters, it seems as though no matter how big my traffic-cone head is, my thoughts all smack onto the pavement in no time at all.  Going from such a high to such a low in milliseconds...thus is the story of my life.

I really should be studying for a test right now.  But, go figure, this is the only time in the past few months I haven't had "blogger's block" (does that exist? did I just come up with that term? *pro-blogger status*).  I have a Geography test at 9:30 tomorrow morning.  But it seems I can only focus on one thing...

How do we, as feeble-minded and ever-fleeting humans, know when enough is enough?  I'm not talking about food or anything like that, though that could definitely be applicable to a large part of the United States...if you haven't seen Super-Size Me go see it, it will change your life.  Anyways, what I'm referring to is a bit more *philosophical* (oh you fancy, huh).  But in life, or at the very least my life, the lines are blurred.  How are we supposed to know when to stop studying ourselves? Our partners? Our friends? Our families?  We critique everything, to the point of not even knowing when we have already failed.  Or, on rare occasions, succeeded.

Warning: depressing concept alert.  Life is failure.  It's honestly just a bunch of failure flowers in one big neurotic vase filled about half-way with cynicism water.  And I am one of the lucky ones!  I have a family that loves me, friends that love me, a boyfriend who loves me.  Yet I challenge all of it, critique all of it.  Will I ever just stop studying?  Preparing? Stressing out over things that I'm lucky to have?

To be honest with all of the hundreds of thousands of you that read my blog, I probably won't.  There's no final exam.  The stress is never off.  The Friday night of life never comes.  I've been programmed my entire life to question, to challenge, and to make myself better.

It will probably be my downfall.

"Study without thought is vain;  thought without study is dangerous."

I guess I'll just have to try to live a little bit more dangerously.